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Yeah that's right. I think Funcoland sucks. I'm not alone either. Infact, almost every person I've ever met thinks Funcoland sucks.That is why klepto, our pal George Clooney and I have band together to create a Funcoland hate page.

This section is entirely devoted to how much the world hates Funcoland!

Yeah, screw those guys.

articles


+ things you will never hear a funcoland employee say - by twitch
+ what they say, what they're thinking - by twitch
+ a guide to shopping at Funcoland - by twitch
+ what to do with the cleaners - by twitch
+ reasons funcoland sucks - by twitch
The ANIT-FUNCOLAND Yahoo! Club
STICK IT TO THE MAN

If you got some beef with Funco, contact tha smackdown and let us know. It might end up here.

From: Greg NEW!!!!!

Hell yeah Funcoland sucks ass.

I tried to buy the Xbox GTA pack last year. I fucked up after paying and left it on the counter as I was leaving (I was distracted by some chick, plus I was lugging a bag and my scooter helmet). So I notice halfway through the ride home I don't have the game. I realized I left it back at the store. I went back to get it, and these pricks claimed it wasn't left behind. I knew with absolute certainty that I'd left it behind. What I figured was that they either 1. kept it for themselves or 2. put it back out to sell. They thought I was a terrific dumbass (that's besides the point) but they blew me off.

Wrong answer. I may be stupid enough to forget my purchased items behind, but I was in the Navy for six years. I know how to work the system, any system, and retail chains are the easiest to work. You just keep at them until they get bored, lazy, or stupid and then you have them. This goes not only for average employees but General managers, District Managers and even their superiors. You just keep going up the chain, maintaining your cool, and you will eventually get what you want (or an equivalent). So this is what I did...

I made such a big fucking deal deal out of it that other customers were getting freaked out and leaving, and I got the initial guy behind the counter to tell me to "Shut up". That was not a bright move on his part, because no District Manager wants to hear that shit, no matter how much the company's policies suck. It's just not good business. I whispered to him that he better have my money for me at 3:00 when he got off, and he could fucking TRY ME. I didn't go back, but I scared him a little or at least caused him some anxiety. My word against yours, you little prick. I later spoke to the General manager who wasn't helpful either (he was just stupid and claimed he had no power). I got the DM's name and number from him. I called the DM (a female) and I got a return call within the hour. I explained what happened and the DM was really coy with me. I was like "Why are you doing this to me?" and she got irritated. I kept pushing her and pushing her, leaning on the post-industrial service-based economy rap I learned while I was in the Navy. She finally was like "What would make you happy?" I told her, I want my purchase. She said she couldn't do that, but she had other games laying around that she could send. I said, fine. I figured that I'd lost, and I should just take whatever I can get at this point.

A few days later I received a brand new title that wasn't even released yet. I guess the DM was just a dumbass and didn't play or really even know the games. So I took this unopened game and took it to another store and turned it in for a full refund, claiming I lost the receipt. They took it and traded it for my initial game. So I finally achieved my objective but it raised my blood pressure a little, and cost me some time. But that's OK because I made the initial guy's life hell (he didn't get fired BTW, he still works at the Waldorf MD Funcoland) and I got to bitch out a total stranger and got them to do my bidding. I also learned no to go to Funcoland anymore.

I thought for sure the initial employee would get fired for telling a paying customer to Shut Up but I guess I was wrong. Any company that allows their employees to get away with that must not care at all. How do they stay in business if they piss off so many people? I eventually sent that guy an anonymous letter with an article out of the Onion parody newspaper that made fun of under-educated retail employees. Here's a link: I wrote below it, "This article is for you. See you when I see you, sport."

From: Matthew Lafleur

From a GameStop in Michigan:

I found you site while looking to see if Gamestop had our employee handbook online, need to check on a few dress code things. anyway just though i would say i love your site and good work and heres a few things from a guy that works their, as for the box's that are open but sold as used. alot of the times they have been played, in the consoles around the store. also they could have been played by a employee who checked them out (a type of free 5 day rental systeam where you can basicly borrow and take home anything in the store) also their is a button on the register to lower the price if its opened. its says "open and or shopworn merchandise" and if i have to sell another damm reservation or game informer subscription I'm going down to Texas and sliting the tires on every car the company owner has.

Another odd thing we hold special games that are rare away from the costomer (usally because they came in used and their not even in the computer) on ocasion and usally have some extreamly cool stuff in the back room and behind the counter. I will say in employee defense that almost everything that is done like tossing out the box's for gba, n64, and NES games is the fault of corprate morons who care about nothing other than having as much shit on the floor as they can so that i can be shoved onto a customer. (this also goes for those damm game informers and reservations, and im shure the cleaners even though gamestop does not do that and i tell people not to buy them, since disk and systeam cleaners tend to break more than they fix). A few of the people who work in my area are jack ass morons but the majority like to play games talk about games and help costomers when they can.

From: Mahhchu ANGRY SHOPPER!

I was at my local Funcoland this week with my boss. He's breaking down and buying a PS2 for his kids for Christmas, and knows that I am a game geek. I looked forward to taking a two hour company lunch to find some games that his four young children would enjoy.

My boss is your typical middle aged tubby white guy, where I am a 6'4", pierced, shaved and kinda intimidating looking guy. Most people don't offer to help me when I go into stores, and I've had mall security follow me at least twice that I know of. With this in mind, it didn't surprise me that the Funcoland employee didn't offer his "expert" assistance when we entered the store. We were the only customers in the store for about 45 minutes, and the lone employee stared at empty space from behind the counter the whole time. When we questioned him about price details and such, he gave short and timid replies.

The kicker was when he was ringing my boss up, though. He went into the Game Informer spiel, claiming that it is the premier gaming magazine in circulation today. At this point, I felt it prudent to tip my boss of with a polite " -biased- ", in referance to this claim. The employee caught the remark, but missed the aim. "ALL magazines are biased! Every writer has his or her own opinion on a game, but in GI you don't have to deal with the bias of one system or company! If you buy Nintendo Power, you are only going to see what Nintendo wants you to! If you buy GI, you don't have to worry about seeing the perspective of only ONE COMPANY!!!"

He went off on this for about 5 minutes, before I cut him off and showed him my gamespot card (yeah, I gave in in a moment of weakness a few months back...) and glared at him to shut him up. Besides missing the point of my comment, the irony of his arguments about other mags only representing "one company" almost left me speechless. If he had said "platform" I might have let it go, but after five minutes of the "one company" spiel, I realized he was a corporate machine. Funny how this one thing set him off after not saying two words together for almost an hour.

On the way out, my boss asked, "Wal-Mart sells games, right?" Great way to establish a good relationship with a new console owner.

Anyway, I enjoy your site, and hope you enjoyed this story. Keep up the good work.

From: Anonymous FUNCOLAND EMPLOYEE!

I stumbled across your website while "Google-ing" Funcoland (I used to work there from Feb of 1998 to April of 1999, I was one of the ones they suckered to be an MIT) to see if they still had an actual website. What I found astounded me. "I hate Funcoland", "100 Reasons not to go to Funcoland", "Funcoland Sucks", "F--- Funcoland"...I could go on and on.

I had no idea of the hatred of this place where I used to work. I actually found it to be pretty freakin' hysterical! Everyone who worked there with me (including myself) HATED that friggin job. We all thought that working in a store that sold video games would be the coolest job in the world. Boy, were we wrong. Our DM was a 35-40 year old short (maybe 5 foot 4 inch) white guy who was a real a-hole. He was ALWAYS coming down on us for not hitting our quota on those magazine subs or those stupid rip-off cleaners. To prove what a joke this job was (as if you needed any more) all of us except for one person were "Asst. Managers", a position that was soooooo highly thought of, they paid us a whopping $6.25 an hour.

Now, I must say that I was one of the employees who was more often than not willing to bend over backwards to help a customer. If they wanted to try out a game, I would let them. If they wanted an honest opinion on a game, I would give it to them. And I was always (uh....most of the time) willing to look behind the counter for a game if there was no box on display or if a customer wanted to know if we had a particular game in stock. However, I did have my moments... There were times when I wouldn't say one word to a customer, wouldn't help them unless they came to me, wouldn't let them play a game they wanted to try out....and so on. But there were always those customers that would just drive you nuts with their questions, or pestering you to let their little, fat 10 year old with a mullet play South Park on the N64. But I would have to say the ratio of good customers to annoying/bad ones was probably 75% to 25%, but it's those bad ones that I will never forget.

A running joke that we had was we would call the place FucNoland. As in: "FucNoLand, may I help you" "Yes, do you have Mario Party 2, used?" "FUCNO, we don't have that game!" Or we would call other stores, pretending to be customers. OTHER STORE: "Funcoland, may I help you?" US: "Yes, do you have BLACK ASS FISHING for the Dreamcrap system?" or my personal favorite "Do you have Choke-A-Ho Dungeon?" We would then laugh hysterically and hang up. Great times. Another time, those of us working would answer the phone and use made up names. Every time we would change. One time I would be Shaq, another time I was Elvis, but the topper was when I answered the phone and said I was "Jack Mahoggoff" (Jack My Hog Off). I think the other 2 employees on duty that night fell on the floor. Too funny! As a side note...(now I am really going to bitch): When they came to me in Jan of 1999 and asked me to become a manager of another store, I should have told them to stick it, but I thought that the money would be good (hey $23,000/yr. sounded good to someone making $6.25/hr.). Once I accepted and went into training, some things were not making sense. First of all, any day you worked you HAD to be there from opening to closing (usually 10:30am to 9:30pm), with hardly a break until 4pm, since you mainly had high schoolers working there. Secondly, you had to work 48 hours in a week (remember this), but since you were salaried, you only got paid for 40 hours. NO OVERTIME? That sucks ass. Third (and this was the worst one), they gave you only 80 hours a year for vacation. That divides into 2 weeks right? WRONG!! Since you were expected to work 48 hours a week...you had to use 48 hours of vacation time for one week. That left you with only 32 hours of vacation time left. Working at that place, you needed all the time away you could afford. Fourth, you had to work both Saturday and Sunday. That moved your weekend to Tuesday and Wednesday.....yeah, not too much fun to be had on those two nights. And to top it all off, I was the only one who didn't screw up the counts every night, so I had to go in every night and do the counts, or go in extra early on Thursday to audit the counts from the previous 2 days and try to straighten them out. I'm getting mad just thinking about it now 4 years later.

Once I made it through the "intensive" manager training, I was able to get "my own store". Where I used to turn to the manager to get rid of the stupid/rude/idiotic customers....they were now turned to me. DAMN! On the lighter side, I now could hire/fire people. One day, this hot AZZ girl walks in and asks if we are accepting applications. We weren't at the time...but I had her fill out an app and did an interview and hired her on the spot! I was going to try and nail her. (Notice I said try...didn't work out...no kidding, huh?) Well she didn't work out (not because I didn't get to screw her), she just failed to show up for work after one day. I think she just wanted the snazzy green shirt. Not too long after I fired the girl, I realized that this job just wasn't going to work out. I made up some lame excuse about my fiancée (don't tell her I was trying to nail the other girl...) going away to another college and I had to go with her. One day, I'd had enough, I put the store keys in an envelope, sealed it with some sorry apology to the DM and acted as if I was going to lunch. I never went back. I quit right before Funcoland was bought out by Babbages or whoever ended up buying them. I went into a Funcoland after they were bought out and NOONE I knew was there. I imagine they just came through and cleaned house, firing everybody. Good thing I left early... Rats always jump off a sinking ship.

Well thank you for your time and for the trip down memory lane...

From: Manalone923 FUNCOLAND EMPLOYEE!

Hi. My name's Mike, and I just saw the site with George Clooney saying how much he hates Funco. Since it's no longer Funco I assume the site may be old, but if it IS still running, I'd love to share my hatred of Funco, and Gamestop, with you. To begin with, I used to work there. Yes, I've seen the light. At the time, I thought it would just be a really great place to hang out and play games, and talk to customers about games and fun stuff like that. Instead, I found out immediately what everyone now knows- Funco is a bastard store run by people who just don't care. They want to make easy money and be on the top of their cutthroat heirarchy of employees, all without giving two fucks about the customers. And I have several tales of example.

To begin with, Funco used to, at least a little bit, be a normal store. Do you remember the days when they would ENCOURAGE you to play the games before you bought them? Oh yeah, I remember times when I would walk into a Funco, see all kinds of games being played by all kinds of people, and they weren't even being pressured to buy them! When I worked there in 1995, part of my job was to actually get my ass OUT from behind the counter (where current Gamestop employees basically rot back there) and hook up a game if someone wanted to try it first! Can you believe it? No, nowadays, you go into GS and what do you see? Sure they still have monitors, but they're not playing games, they're playing promotional demos of what current products they're trying to sell you! And if you want to try a game, then you better want to play whatever game they've been paid to promote for the time being. If you want to try anything else, such as anything from, say, even a MONTH ago, well too bad. As I've been told while working there, "The displays are to show people the new stuff we're trying to pronote. What else would they be used for?" Obviously, this guy never saw the "old" Funco.

Oh, and this is what pisses me off the most. If you go in there and buy a "new" game, chances are you'll get it unsealed. Why is that? Well, because they actually OPEN the game, slip the disc into one of their cheap sleeves behind the counter, and put the box up on display to let people know they have it. Sure, it hasn't been actually played, at least they tell you it hasn't. But they sell you OPENED games at NEW prices. Is it just me, or isn't it that once you remove the packaging and take the fucking game out, it becomes used? You can't open a game and return it to Best Buy! But you know what makes this worse? IF YOU WALK INTO A GAMESTOP, BUY A BRAND NEW, SEALED GAME, OPEN IT, AND TURN AROUND TO TELL THEM THAT YOU WANT YOUR MONEY BACK, THEY WILL NOT REFUND YOUR MONEY. THEY WILL OFFER TO BUY BACK THE GAME, AT USED PRICE!!!! If you sell them something that's been opened, it's automatically "used", no matter if you open it right in front of them, and therefore worth only the 1/3rd that they pay for used titles. But THEY can open anything they want, and, for *ahem* "security" reasons, keep the game behind the counter! Oh, I can go on and on. Another time I was working at Funco in 2001, for an asian kid named Tony. Now, I don't have anything against asians, but this guy was one rigid, cruel, overly perfectionistic little fucker.

He was 19, 3 years younger than I was at the time, but he was the STORE MANAGER! It's easy to see hwo he got that way too. His work ethic would have driven anyone with morals insane. He actually told me once, "Get the customers to buy something. They're here for US, not the other way around. This business survives because of the money we get out of their pockets." Later, when I was trying to tell someone about a glitchy game and recommended a different (cheaper) alternative, Tony later scolded me and said, "They're here to buy. Don't ever talk them out of a sale. If you so much as see some little kid in here trying to get some game that he'll never understand, don't talk his parents out of getting it. Let them spend their money. If someone is even the least bit interested in buying something, don't ever tell them anything negative about it unless they directly ask."

I'm not making this guy up. He worked at the Racine, Wisconsin Funco in october or november of 2001, and was part of a revolving door of managers that we had there.

Oh I've still got more! Another contributor mentioned that as a collector, he likes to get games complete- meaning with boxes, manuals, etc. This is another thing Funco (and now GS) frowns on. Like that poor customer, I too saw that several large garbage bags were full of vintage Nintendo boxes, manuals, even the little black sleeves that NES games came in. We were just throwing them away, to make room! It was part of what they call "Field destroying" which included getting rid of strategy guides, boxes, and merchandise that was too damaged to sell or didn't have a place in their computerized inventory. They don't want to give away items marked for field destruction either, which I guess is because they don't want the products to actually be enjoyed if they have the power to instead get rid of them.

And the employees? Man, they're a fucking joke. I saw someone complain about Funcoman, the dreadlocked buffoon. We had one of those. We also had a fat kid named Dave who told customers all kinds of outlandish shit, like how he beat Metal Gear Solid 2 and was treated to a preview of the live action film at the end (and no, it doesn't exist). Stuff like this is par for the course. And although it was discouraged when I worked there in 2001, when I was there in '95 it was very, very common to see Funco workers just sitting behind their counter, playing video games at their leisure. They were getting paid for it. Now, things are a little more structured, and maybe the employees were told to put on more of an illusion of care for their work, because now they actually spend some time away from the counter and put stuff on shelves, etc. Kind of like how they go out to put Nintendo games on shelves in ziploc baggies. Wait, baggies? Huh? I could go on forever, but I think I've said enough. But believe me, I'll visit the site again, and I can add more information if it's welcome. I still have my Funco employee handbook around here somewhere too, and if I find it I'll email you some of its better contents as well. And again, I don't know if this site is still running, I didn't get a good enough look at it all to see. But if it is, and any of my email ranting is good enough to be on your site, by all means put any or all of it up there (just please make sure manalone923 gets the credit!). Well I guess that's all, other than one last thing...Some of you may be pleased to know that my friend and fellow Funco worker ripped that store off reeeeall good in 2001, getting off more than 3,000 dollars of merchandise. Of course I don't always endorse such criminal behavior. But this is Funco! Fuck em, and score one for the little people!!!!!

From: Jesse FUNCOLAND EMPLOYEE!

hell yes it sucks. i am a former employee of funcoland. i worked at the dayton, ohio store for 8 months (store 756). the employees are ALL assholes. especially the managers! they were the two biggest racists i've ever met in my life, they said the word nigger every 5 minutes...they were talking about customers! i was given a PERFECT evalutation and then FIRED a week later for no reason at all. also, i was never told i was fired and to this day i don't know why. i was simply taken off the schedule. funcoland can kiss my ass. never go to the dayton funcoland store, it's run by HUGE racists AND it lost it's only truthful employee...ME. they seriously teach the employees to lie about how good games are, they tried to teach me to lie...i will not. boycott funcoland!

From: Chantell Pomerville FUNCOLAND EMPLOYEE!

Dear oh wise and glorious NES fan,
I have been employed at Funco for almost a year now, and I can say it is not a rosy job. But, the biggest pain in the ass is after close, not dealing with customers. A few things off your site;

Blienk: Get a life! If you have nothing better to do than think up things to do with those dumb ass cleaners, I'm afraid you're the one who doesn't have a girlfriend. We don't even bother to pitch cleaner and subs anymore!

1. The employees are jerks
The only jerk at our store (Woodbridge Va) is the new seasonal Nick, and we are trying to get him fired. I'm not a jerk - in fact, I'm one of two females who work at the store, and you know what? I actually try to ensure that parents/kids walk out with a smile. I know when games are over prices, I tell them when games suck. I go up to them and ask them if they need help - hark - without asking if they want to buy a cleaner!

2. They never have boxes or manuals with games
I will vouch that we have a limited stock - but it is because you people who trade games in do God only knows what with your manuals - shove them up your ass, who knows- and trade in games with cartridge only. Then you try to trade in scratched up games, but bitch when you try to buy a game that is semi-scratched. Go figure. As a side note - I do go dig for boxes and booklets - even though I have to march off to the back to find them.

3. You have to argue to get behind the damn counter
I had a customer like this before. Would you try to get behind the counter at Best Buy or Circuit City? No. So what makes us different? It is corporate's policy - we lowly underpaid ants can't change a thing about it. It's in effect so customers will not try to steal merchandise.

5. You have to hear a 15 minute speech on the wonders of the cleaner every time you buy a game.
I don't even try to sell them, except for the occasional CD or NES cleaner - because those two are the only ones that are worth anything. And if a customer says, "No, thank you." I stop. Period.

6. If you don't buy a 20 year subscription to Game Informer than they won't help you.
Over the last month I have sold a whopping ONE sub. I'm still helping customers....point is, why waste my breath on people who I know won't buy a sub? Saves on you and me.

7. They force N64 stuff down your throat.
I hate N64 and the only reason I still have it is for Zelda. We push PS2, buddy.

10. The employees will lie like a dog, to get that precious commission.
Everyone at our store (save Paul, who is Gay) blows off the commission. Two lousy dollars is not worth the hassle on both parts.

"I'd be glad to help you with that"
"I scored last night." (He might say it but it wont be true)
"I love NES!"
"These cleaners don't anything."
"Game Informer sucks."
"Let me check if we have the instructions for that."
"Would you like me to look for that game in our back room?"
"Wouldn't you rather have a game with a story
instead of just flashy graphics."
"I showered last night."

I have done all of these except say game informer sucks, which I haven't read in months. And on a side note, the scoring part did happen after prom! *lol*

On price adjustments - If the ad says 29.99 - you adjust it in the computer. It is not difficult.

Ahem. Not all employees are JVD's. I am a senior, and was accepted to the US Naval Academy, I-Day June 29th 2001! Just to show that not all of us are dumb-asses academically. The rest of the guys at work are community college kids.

"So why does it suck? THE EMPLOYEES ARE ALL ASSHOLES!Everyone that works at Funcoland was that kid everyone hated in school because he was such a jerk."

First off, I'm a SHE. Secondly, I won Homecoming princess last year. Gee, that was a popularity contest if I ever saw one! Why don't you rephrase that to; "ALL THE FUNCOLAND EMPLOYEES I'VE DELT WITH ARE ASSHOLES!"

I'm not going to bother trying to shut down your site. I just wish you would post this and figure out that not ALL Funcolands suck. It sucks more to work there than it does to shop, trust me, I've been on both sides! Don't make ignorant and incorrect generalizations, please. I don't go mud-slinging you and your own.

~*bright blessings*~ <3 ~ Chantel

What a bitch right?

From: Aj

When you go to Funcoland and want to sell a game you have they give you point shit money for it. I went to Funcoland to sell my sega genisis and they would give me $1.50! What the hell is up with that bull shit!!! I never bought a damn thing from them or sold a game to those fuckn' bastards after that. Funcoland can go to hell! No one would give a shit if it did! If it did I'd say to myself:finally that piece of monkey shit went to hell!! AND KISS MY ASS BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you want Funcoland to go to hell GIVE ME A HELL YEAH!!

From: Chris98980@aol.com

My funcoland story is nothing special, but it makes you laugh. I was in there one day with some friends and I wanted to buy some nes games. I couldn't talk to the guy though because he was having a relationship crisis with his girlfriend(or boyfriend? ) on the phone. Some things that I heard the guy say: I love you, I dont give a fuck, i just want to see you, fuck him, fuck, shit, and many other obseen words.

FROM A FORMER FUNCOLAND EMPLOYEE

From: D'Vynity Marie

Howdy, everyone!

I am a former Funco MIT, and let me tell ya, everything you have saying in your site is TRUE!!! And since EB bought them out, it hasn't gotten much better. I have many friends still working for Funco, so I get the lastest scoop on what's been going on. First off, the District Managers and the Regional Managers treat the horribly underpaid employees like shit and this rubs off on them. Monkey-ass see, monkey-ass do! Then, all that applies at these places are lazy-assed kids who don't want to do ANYTHING but sit around! Believe me, it was hard finding quality help. Scratch that, IMPOSSIBLE!! And while the cleaners, which I agree are WAY overpriced, are a good idea, they shouldn't be shoved down the customers' throats the way they were. And I was one of the best cleaner salepeople in the company, feeling guilty for the tactics we had to use. But the truth is this: if you don't sale the fucking things, you get fired, and if someone doesn't like you (which being a girl in a male-dominated company where I blew off the DM, there was A LOT of woman-bashing), they will use the cleaner sales against you. Employee morale at Funcoland has been low for many reasons for a long time. And being in Management, I've see the results of the treatment of employees.

What we can do is this: I am starting a boycott of not only FuncoLand, but also of Electronics Boutique, which now owns them. I've thought of sending letters to EB about the cleaners and the treatment of employees by the higher-ups. True, it may not do much for the already pissed-off customers, but I've heard time and time again that the BUSINESS, not "The Business" itself of Funcoland, is very good, the resale of old and out-of-print video games that you might not be able to find anywhere else.

When I first started with the company in 1997, things were different, but it soon started to go to shit after that, at least in my district. Some places were shit LONG before then, I can imagine. I know it's easy to bash the employees (I do it myself), but you also need to look at the Corporation itself. They are the ones who make the Cleaner and Sub rules. If you really want to make your voices heard, write to them, expressing that you will NOT shop at Funcoland for that reason.

Here recently, at the Funco that I started at, the employees have basically stopped pushing the cleaners unless they are selling a system, and even then, I've seen them not even mention it. They have stopped caring about the DM, and the numbers, and the commission. Although this is only one store, I can only hope that the trend can continue so the corporation will wake up and see that this method no longer works.

Talk to everyone soon!

D'Vynity

P.S. Just so you think I just some narsty chick or something, I happened to be 26 years-old, 5'9", 135 lbs, and model on the side when I'm not at my present job as a legal assistant. I've also sent along a picture for your drooling pleasure. It's one of mine and my guy friends' favourites!

Letter #2

Hee hee. Thanx for the exposure. And in case anyone writes and asks you, NO, I'm NOT available!! Actually, I think the guy I'm seeing is going to pop the question soon, around Christmas or a little after.

Anyway, back to the email, the joke has been for a while between my Funco friends and I is that "the road to Hell is paved with Republicans and FuncoLand employees"! One of my friends is doing his part to be an informant to me, since I'm not liking the turn of events Funco has been pulling. And the fact there's been a personal vendetta against me since I can remember. I honestly think I was only given a store just so they sabotage me into making me out as an incompetent employee. I had employees STEALING from my store and when I tried get help from Loss Prevention and my DM, they pretty much told me to deal with it myself! After a while, I stopped caring myself, and when I decided to quit, they had the NERVE to try to get me to stay, which was more than likely a rouse. I was told that I would always have a job with the company should my other prospect not have worked out (which it didn't), and when I tried to go back, the DM who rehired me was written up and almost fired by the guy who has something against me, who was at that time the RM. He has stated a "No Rehire" policy, even though he'll rehire his buddies. Yes, at one time, Funco was a great company to work for and to shop from. But Big Business took over the once little company and turned into what it is today, which is a shame. I've actually had the opportunity to meet the founder of the company and the director of sales. They knew who I was, recognized my name, and knew of my sales potential. Both were very nice guys, and it's a shame that greed took them over. It's also a shame that personal feelings got into the running of this business. It's caused the lose of good employees and high morale. FuncoLand, under the rule of EB, needs to change their format in a desperate way!

Oh, well, if you ever want to talk, feel free to email me, or if you have a Yahoo, ICQ, or AOL handle, let me know. Until then, bye!

D

From: Joseph Wilkinson NEW ADDITION

Love your site dude! I've had some interesting experiences with Funcoland in the past and thought you may be able to use some of this on your site.

First of all theres always this one guy who's always working there when I go to funcoland, he's this big fat bastard with dread-locks, and he's always lying to me and other customers and likes to make up stories. The first time I went there I saw more than one copy of Contra on the shelf behind the counter, I told him I wanted to buy it. He said they didn't have it! I pointed to the stack of Contra carts right behind him, and he said those weren't for sale -- when they're sitting right there in a display with a price tag on them. He then proceeded to try and persuade me to get some Playstation and N64 games and I walked out. Besides that, I've also heard him tell other customers various lies when they would ask him questions, like for instance he told one woman the Dreamcast was 256 bits, he said to another person that Perfect Dark would be out on PSX right after the N64 version, and he said the next Zelda game would be on Dolphin. I tried to correct him on that Zelda comment but he flat out ignored me. On top of that, he asks me to buy a cleaning kit every time I buy NES games, I made it clear to him that I know they get a commission on every cleaning kit they sell and that I'm never buying any so he knows not to ask me anymore.

I also made this comic, which you may want to use:

http://www.homestead.com/dssite/DScomic1.html

You can use any of this on your 'Funcoland Sucks' page that you want, but there's no obligation

From: Mary Gee

1) I was going in to buy an NES, and the guy told me that it cost $50. I told him that it only cost $29.99 in the ad. He told me that due to the demand increase, and the supply decrease, the system was going up in price, and they didn't have time to change the price in the add yet. He also said that since the Nintendo Dolphin was coming out in a year, the Nintendo was going up in price, as the series was growing. Whatever. I just walked out.

2) A guy told me he'd hold a game for me over the phone. So, thirty minutes later, I walk into the store to ask to buy my game that was on hold. He told me he was very sorry, but "they are not allowed to hold games." He then told me someone came in and bought it before I got there.

3) THE JUVENILE DELINQUINT EMPLOYEES!!!!

4) I had another problem with asking over the phone. This time, I asked if they had a game in stock. They told me that they couldn't tell me unless I came into the store and asked. So, I came in, and they didn't have it.

From: Andrew

I just rung up the price for 5 SNES games at their store. 5!!! They wereMortal Kombat 3 (ultimate) Super Mario World, Super Mario Kart, StarFox, and Final Fantasy Mystic Quest. Those crapholes thought they couldsell it to me for 14.50. I told them they could "Go screw themselves"and left. And they still tried to sell me a cleaning kit!

From: Antron

Well, I went to Funcoland once and recieved the worst customer service. The guys were too lazy to get the games, one of 'em was throwing a screwdriver at the cardboard display things. After a little while I fliped them and swore at them. He got pissed and pulled out a knife!! P-S-Y-C-O. After getting psyically kicked out (and then walking right back in) I asked if they had Godzilla. "In my pants!" one of 'em said. Obviously it was SHOVED UP HIS FAT ASS. The worst part was this was the manager and assistant manager. Funco HQ has since had many complaint mails from us.

From: Nate

I hate Funcoland!!! First of all, I am an NES collector, so I value havingthe box and manual with my games. The two Fuculand stores by my hose had tonsof NES boxes and manuals when I first went to the stores. I went back a whilelater and they where all gone. I asked what happened to them. and themanagers at both stores told me that they threw them away to make more room.And when they get new games they make a habit of throwing away all the boxes.Also I was in there the other day because I had a credit I needed to get ridof. There was another guy who also had a credit to get rid of for $40. Theass hole behind the counter wouldn't let him have the credit because the slipwas over a year old. The way he said it was just like an ass hole would sayit. There all a bunch of pricks that think they know everything about videogames, butt all of them were high school losers who never made it with theladies, but are well aquatinted with their fist. Oh Baby!!! I got place forthat video game cleaner!!

From: The Styrofoam Kid

I went to a FuncoLand a few weeks ago to look for some NES shi. They hadnothing. So I looked at the Game Boy games, and the first game they had wasan obvious Chinese pirate 4 in 1 multicart. It had Bubble Bobble, Chase HQ,and 2 other Taito games (the Taito logo was on the label, but it's obviouslyfake). The only two listings in their paper for a 4 in 1 is 2 Americangambling games (dug, with 4 gambling games in one cart). So I asked the guybehind the counter (I have dubbed him "pizzaface", because he had so manyzits) how much it was, and explained that it was Chinese. He told me to lookat the two listings in the paper (for the gambling games). I again told himthat this game had nothing to do with the games in the paper. He wouldn'tlisten. So I walked out. The game is still there to this very day, and whenpizzaface is not there, I plan on getting it.

From: Tim Crabtree

I go into 3 different funcolands and evertime I go to any of them theassholes leave the backroom door open. I have seen rob's nes top loadersand hundreds of accessories and games I ask the moron's each time whatthe stuff is doin back there and I have had 3 gay excuses.1. It's ALL broken.2. It's inventory, if I sold it then I'd be all out.3. It turns out that I get paid the same wether I stock the shelves ornot.So you see yet another reason why funcoland employee's suck



» Why it sucks so bad

Funcoland is a good store. They have a fair selection and good prices. So whay does it suck? THE EMPLOYEES ARE ALL ASSHOLES!Everyone that works at Funcoland was that kid everyone hated in school because he was such a jerk. Worst of all, they are alwayscramming those stupid cleaners down our throats. If you tell them you clean your system any other way their like, 'Uh, no. Use this one. It's better."

» Ways to really piss of the employees

First of all, Funcoland employees get a $2 commision on every cleaner they sell. This is why they push it so much.If you really want some fun, grab every cleaner they have and walk up to the counter. This should be about 50, so it will take a few minutes toring up. After the employee rings it all up, and gives you the price, open your wallet, say you only have a quarter, then walk out of the store!This will destroy them!

Another fun thing to do is to go in to a Funcoland and buy 10 Super Mario Bros./Duckhunt carts. After they ring you up, walk through the door turn around, re-enter the store, and say, "I'd like to sell these."This will not only piss them off, but it will also make them hate you!

When I was younger, I loved to sit in Funcoland all day, making the employees change the games on display over and over again. They knew I was never gonna buy anything, but they still had to do it.Damn it pissed them off.

I call this techniuqe, "pulling a berger" cuz this is what my friend Paul Berger does.He opens the door of a store screams the cussword of his choice as loud as he can, and then runs.Ten more points if they run after you.

Tell them where to stick that damn cleaner.

+ another article on pissing of Funcoland.

» Different ways I've been kicked out of Funcoland

One time it was 6:45 and Funcoland closed at 7:00. I was looking through the games, when the employee said, "time to leave."I said, "oh, ya'll are closing?" He said, "Yeah, can't you read the damn sign."What a friggin' JERK

I used to not wear shoes in the summer. Sooooo many times I got kicked out for no shoes.

» Want to work at Funcoland?

Here is how a typical Funcoland employment sheet probably reads.

1. Are you a jerk to little kids?

2. Are you a 31 year old virgin still living with your parents?

3. If someone asked you about a game you would say:

    A. j00 mama
    B. GET IT YOURSELF
    C. You need a cleaner.

WE OUTRAGE PEOPLE

Ever since this section went up we have recieved a dozen emails about our Funcoland slander.Most of them are like, "YEAH MANG FUCK THOSE GUYS." Believe it or not some people actually likeFuncoland's employees.

Two losers, who will remain nameless, well ok, Lakitu and Elementl1 tried to shut down tha smackdown.They emailed our current host about the Funco section. Needless to say Freespeech didn't care.

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legal stuff

This article is intended to be humorous and smackdown gt does not endorse defrauding or disrupting the business of Gamestop/Funcoland. The views expressed here are the opinions of smackdown gt and it's viewers and are admitingly generalizations based on our experiences.
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